A mother writes…

My darling daughter,

As you stand on the threshold of a new life, a hundred images flash across my mind’s eye….. the tiny bundle placed in my arms… my precious little princess. The toddler years, the turbulent teens, the choices you made, the games you played , the secrets we shared, the late night chick flicks, the small joys and sorrows that seemed so big till we spoke of them…. in the middle of it all you grew up and  today  you are a young woman with a mind of your own and I’m proud to say,  her own person. So strike out on your own and make your own little paradise of a home with your chosen one.

Yet there’s a small fear lurking in the shadows of my mind… what if things do not turn out as you have hoped? What if he does not give you the freedom to be you? What if he thinks your profession is not a fulfilling a dream, but just a whim?

What if he thinks a small whack on your hand if you do something he does not approve is “OK”? What if he thinks its “the norm” to lose his temper if you dare go where he has forbidden you to go or do what he thinks you should not do? What if he thinks a raised voice or a raised hand is justified if you get a “little out of hand”?

What if he thinks “its fine” to get home with his friends and proceed to get high as you put together snacks and meals and then makes fun of you?

What if he thinks that every mistake you make perceived or real, is reason enough to strike or hurt you? What if he thinks you have to pay for each “misdemeanor” with a scar on your body or mind?

What if he thinks that laying a hand on you “goes with the  turf” as he is the Man?

Then my darling, you get right back home and share your pain with us. Nothing that does not feel right will ever be right. If you need a confidante, I will always be there. If you need shelter, our home, no, your home is always open. If you discover its been a mistake,  its never too late. There is no reason whatsoever to suffer in pain or just wishing it away. We have to talk about the elephant in the room. No partner or spouse is ever justified in using violence – physical, verbal or emotional against his /her partner. There are ways and means of sorting out incompatibility issues  or sheer bad luck in choosing a partner other than violence. There is no stigma attached to choosing to walk out of a bad relationship. It is your choice. And more importantly, it is your right.

Do not blame yourself or make excuses for him.

Just hold your head high and head back home. Its doors will always be open for you. And so will my arms be. To hold you, hug you and walk you through life. Always.  No matter what! Know that.

Loads of love and a tight hug to my princess.

 

#A letter to Her – Part of a Blogathon to spread awareness about Domestic Violence

#I would like to read When I Hit You by Meena Kandasamy  to know how to deal with Domestic Violence and because it breaks the silence surrounding domestic violence.